a pivotal
moment
I remember coming home from work after a very challenging day in a toxic workplace environment. I remember trying to find my breath while
Sitting in the driveway, stuck to the seat of my car.
I did not want to go inside – fearing the “MOMMY I NEED!” entreaties – dreading clocking into my next full-time job.
I remember dragging myself up the stairs with barely enough energy to nod at my kids, put on a smile, and make an excuse to lock myself in the bathroom to just have a moment to breathe.
I found myself looking in the mirror long enough to have the thought, “who are you?” After a long moment of discomfort, I realized in a flash that my whole life had become centered around
the needs of everyone else but me.
My mother checked all the boxes.
She modeled for me the trope of the strong black woman, that was modeled to her mother and so on by consistently putting her needs last, working 20+ years in a job she was underpaid for, she only rested when she was completely exhausted.
The motto was:
“Push forward no matter what”
…even if it meant compromising her health.
It was not safe to be vulnerable and you did not ask for help unless it was the last option.
And the truth is that my experience reflects that of millions of black women, and although the details are different the narrative is the same. The trauma of slavery and the epigenetic residue it has left behind is evident in generational patterns we live, yet self-care has become my freedom and my liberation. I am choosing to model a different path and break free, and taking my fellow sisters with me.
It’s time to heal inter-generational trauma and liberate “The Strong Black Woman”.
Did you know?
- On average over 80 percent of Black mothers are the breadwinners working multiple jobs, with additional caregiving responsibilities.
- Statistics also show that black women earn roughly 38% less than white women every year.
- Almost half of all adult black women suffer from hypertension.
Looking in the mirror
That day at the mirror, when I realized something had to change, I also realized it was entirely up to me.
I started to take radical responsibility
for my own needs.
And I began intentionally asking these questions:
- What is my vision?
- What do I really want?
- What legacy do I want to model for my children and other Women?
- Who do I desire to BE?
- Who do I desire to become?
I committed to being radically honest, which required new levels of self-compassion and acceptance.
I learned ways to honor and manage my emotions and energy.
I learned to give myself full permission to make me a priority, to be my own best friend and advocate.
I decided to treat myself with the dignity, love and reverence that I deserve as
the manifestation of the divine.
I stopped doubting my wholeness.
I began to believe in my worthiness.
I learned to lean into Love & God in a fresh new way.
I found my breath again and learned the power of a Divine Pause.
Which is why it is my mission now to be a guide to show other women of color and black women especially that their is another way, and YOU HAVE THE POWER TO TEND TO YOUR SELF-CARE DIFFERENT AND
Best of all, my kids started saying things like “Mommy, I love spending time with you.”
What if we viewed self-care as “doing the work” of healing intergenerational trauma?
Would we feel less guilty about prioritizing ourselves?
Our Values:
We create space for SELF, create safe space for others, and together achieve the transformation that happens in community
Our Mission:
To be the catalyst for Black Women and WOC to create the “soft life” she deserves, fully nourished from the inside out and supported in all areas of her life to be her fullest, wellest, truest SELF